my mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot
they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat
so whenever they see my mom
laughed for a solid five minutes
behaviorism gone wrong
Pavlov is laughing in his grave
This is a real radar screen of #MH370 airplace which suddenly disappeared out of thin air on its way from Kuala Lumpur Malaysia to Beijing. There were no distress signal, indications of rough weather, or other signs of trouble when the plane was reported missing. The pilots communicated with the Air Traffic Control without showing any discommode sign in their voices. List of passengers:
1. China / Taiwan – 152, plus 1 infant / 1
2. Malaysia - 38
3. Indonesia - 7
4. Australia - 6
5. France - 3
6. United States – 3, including 1 infant*
7. New Zealand - 2
8. Ukraine - 2
9. Canada - 2
10. Russia - 1
11. Italy - 1
12. India - 5
13. Netherlands - 1
14. Austria - 1
Source: Malaysia Airlines
There is no sign the plane or any clue where it might have crashed found as we speak.
I’d give anything to read Harry Potter from Malfoy’s perspective
The ferret chapter alone would be a masterpiece
*wears the same outfit as yesterday* vintage
he asked for a blowjob and i blew him away with the word of the lord
The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.
Jizz and jet
shoot and scoot
blow your load and hit the road
someone mentioned april fools today, and it reminded me that last year a couple of radio DJs got taken off the air and almost faced felony charges because they told their audience that the local water supply was contaminated with “Dihydrogen Monoxide” and alot of people panicked
Dihydrogen - (two hydrogen)
Monoxide - (one oxygen)
some guys almost got arrested for telling people there was water in their taps.
if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules
As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.
You are a mermaid, sir
I AM A MERMAID!